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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900711">Givenchy White Shark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisamc21/pseuds/Lisamc21'>Lisamc21</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Married Life, Patrick Brewer is a Troll, Reunions, shark week, trolling as a love language</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:20:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,593</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisamc21/pseuds/Lisamc21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When given a Shark Week prompt, I had no choice but to use it for the purposes of Patrick trolling David.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“David, I want to talk to you about something.” Patrick closed his book and placed it on the Jake-crafted coffee table.</p><p>David didn’t like that tone of Patrick’s. It usually led to something mildly unpleasant like going to a baseball game or a bro-tastic wedding for one of his former teammates. Then again, baseball games meant weekends in Toronto with Patrick adding art museum stops to buffer the sportsball, and weddings meant Patrick got all dressed up and champagne tipsy. Patrick was delightfully handsy when he was champagne tipsy. </p><p>“About what?” He sat his phone upside down next to Patrick’s novel and bit his lips together.</p><p>Patrick idly rubbed David’s ankles. “There’s something you don’t know about me.”</p><p>David swallowed. “If it’s a foot fetish, I can deal with that.”</p><p>Patrick stopped rubbing David’s ankles and let out a laugh. “You have great feet, but no, it’s not that.”</p><p>David wanted to use one of his “great” feet to kick Patrick’s (sexy) tree-trunk thighs. “Then what?”</p><p>Warm, honey-brown eyes looked up at him. Those eyes were David’s undoing every day, and he loved it. </p><p>“I love sharks.”</p><p>David chuckled. “I love unicorns. So what?”</p><p>Patrick shook his head. “I <i>really</i> love sharks.”</p><p>He was open-minded about bedroom activities, but he’d draw the line at shark role playing. </p><p>“I was obsessed with them as a kid and almost became a marine biologist.”</p><p>David’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Seriously? Oceans over spreadsheets?”</p><p>Patrick smirked. “In college, my friends and I used to throw parties for Shark Week each year. Huge parties. They were pretty legendary.”</p><p>David bit back a smile. He was trying to imagine the nerdy jock he married getting trashed and watching sharks on a shitty little TV. Crowding around his friends and making a drinking game out of the various species they spotted.</p><p>“That sounds very exciting, sweetheart.” He reached for his phone.</p><p>Patrick’s grip on David’s ankle tightened. “In honor of it being ten years since graduating college, my friends are throwing a Shark Week party reunion.”</p><p>David knew where this was going and nuh-uh. No thank you. “So, when are <i>you</i> going?”</p><p>Patrick arched an eyebrow, and their eyes had a silent argument. “<i>We</i> are going next month. I’ve picked out three potential hotels and several art galleries. Plus, there’s a new Brazilian restaurant.”</p><p>David narrowed his eyes. His husband played <i>dirty</i>. </p><p>The corner of Patrick’s mouth turned up. “Marriage is about compromise, right? You go with me to the party so I can show you off to friends you haven’t met yet, and I make sure you have lots of other fun things to do. Bonus is a weekend away from the store.”</p><p>Devious, manipulative, gremlin! “I feel like you know me too well and you’re using those powers for evil, Patrick. I’m not sure I like it.”</p><p>“There’s one more thing.” Patrick’s delicious smirk ratcheted up a few notches.</p><p>David’s nostrils flared. “If you tell me I have to swim with sharks, I’m going to lose my shit.”</p><p>Patrick shook his head, laughing. “No, it’s not that. There’s a dress code.”</p><p>His shoulders relaxed. “We can find you a nice suit or something.”</p><p>Patrick just stared at him. And stared. And the corner of his mouth inched up. </p><p>Nope. No way. “So help me God. If you make me wear a shark costume, we are getting divorced today!” David pulled his feet back from Patrick’s lap. </p><p>Patrick’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “David, I would never ask you to do that. I don’t think any of your favorite designers make shark costumes.”</p><p>Releasing a breath, David nodded. He supposed Patrick could dress up and David wouldn’t be too embarrassed to be seen with him. “Tell me more about this dress code.” Maybe he could wear a gray sweater or something that looked sort of shark-like in color.</p><p>Patrick rose from the couch and walked over to the hallway closet. He rummaged around on the top shelf and returned with a sleek, matte black box. “I already took care of your outfit.” He gently handed it to David. The box had a familiar label.</p><p>“Excuse em moi? Givenchy? Patrick!” David gave a shoulder wiggle. “It’s not even our anniversary.”</p><p>Patrick’s eyes danced. </p><p>David hadn’t bought any new Givenchy in ages. Most of his wardrobe had been Poshmark procured with gently used designer clothes.</p><p>He ran his fingers along the designer words. “This is so nice. Thank you.”</p><p>“You should open it.” Patrick’s smile was sweet, thoughtful.</p><p>David gently lifted the lid and saw black. Good start. He lowered the box to his lap and lifted the item of clothing. It unfolded to reveal a T-shirt. </p><p>“That’s the back of it.” Patrick shoved his hands deep in his jeans pocket. He bit his lower lip.</p><p>David arched an eyebrow at his husband. That was his sassy lip bite. He carefully turned the soft cotton around and froze. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” He dropped the shirt and glared at Patrick. “Seriously? You bought me a <i>Givenchy</i> T-shirt with a fucking shark on it.”</p><p>Patrick belly laughed. “Do you like it?”</p><p>“Do I <i>like</i> it? It’s a fucking shark. On a T-shirt.”</p><p>Patrick doubled at the waist and could barely speak through tears and laughs. “But it’s Givenchy. You <i>love</i> Givenchy.”</p><p>David glared at Patrick. “Did you seriously buy this new?”</p><p>Patrick nodded. </p><p>“It’s got to be several hundred dollars.”</p><p>Patrick nodded harder. Like a fucking bobblehead. </p><p>“You bought an expensive, designer T-shirt for the express purpose of trolling me at a Shark Week-themed party with your college friends.”</p><p>“Yes. Yes I did.”</p><p>“I hate you.” David rolled his eyes, but his fingers admired the cotton. “You owe me. I’m picking where we’re staying, where we’re eating, and every non-Shark Week related activity. <i>In</i> and out of the bedroom. I’m calling the shots.”</p><p>Patrick smirked. The kind of smirk that said David had fallen for his long con. That little shark-loving shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A continuation of the 1k piece I wrote for a Shark Week prompt.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is for the lovely people who asked for more after the 1k prompt for a group collection. And thanks to everyone's kind words about the first bit. I wrote a few more chapters of this story and I'll post one a day until it's done. I hope you enjoy! There's some trolling, some fluff, some emotional things, and some sexy times.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You look great.”</p><p>David glared at his husband through his reflection in the full-body mirror mounted on their hotel room wall. “Shut up.”</p><p>Patrick’s eyes danced. “I’m serious. I love it when you wear short sleeves. Your arms are sexy.” He stepped forward and ran his hands up and down David’s arms. </p><p>David bit the inside of his cheek as he took a moment to admire Patrick’s thick thighs in the dark jeans he let David buy for him. Ones that perfectly accentuated his below-the-waist assets. “Thank you. But I’m still pissed about this fucking shirt.”</p><p>Patrick wrapped his arms around David’s waist. Sometimes it surprised him how easily affectionate they still were after being together a few years. David had gotten better about waiting for the other shoe to drop and expecting Patrick to yell “psych!” and run off with someone else. But he hadn’t. He still showed David how much he loved him every day.</p><p>Except when Patrick bought him a fucking Givenchy shark T-shirt. That was pure trolling. Patrick Brewer, Troll Extraordinaire.</p><p>“I could have given you one of my old party shirts to wear.” Patrick’s tone was even, but he smirked up at David. “I brought an extra. Just in case.” He raised an eyebrow.</p><p>David looked down at the heavily worn, blue cotton shirt Patrick wore. The <i>Jaws</i> poster knock-off with “We’re going to need a bigger beer” text was a bit more than David was willing to allow on his own body. “Why did I marry you?”</p><p>“Because you like my dick.”</p><p>David choked on a laugh before he could stop himself. Patrick’s ridiculous humor would be David’s life raft for the evening. Pun not intended. </p><p>“Speaking of my dick. And your dick.”</p><p>“Oh, were we speaking of them?”</p><p>Patrick grinned. “I was thinking we could play a little game tonight. We each pick a shark species and track how often someone says that species. Whoever gets the highest tally at the end of the night gets to call the shots tonight.” He waggled his eyebrows.</p><p>David turned and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s shoulders. “I admire your clever spirit. I accept this challenge. Though, I fear you have an advantage. This is my first Shark Week, and I don’t know what species have the best chances of getting mentioned.”</p><p>Patrick’s face morphed into the adorable expression he had when he was thinking through a tax issue or recalibrating his spreadsheets. “I’ll write down the five species most likely to get mentioned and we’ll each draw one. Deal?”</p><p>David nodded as he bit his lips between his teeth.</p><p>Patrick walked over to the desk in the room and found a notepad and pen. He proceeded to write things down and tear papers. He folded them and dropped them in the ice bucket. Walking back to David, he held the bucket out. “Shark Week virgin draws first.”</p><p>David grimaced. “We’re not doing ‘Shark Week virgin.’” He grabbed a piece of paper and unfolded it. Patrick’s slanted scribble charmed him. “Hammerhead.”</p><p>“Ooh, good one.”</p><p>Patrick pulled his own. “Tiger shark.” He didn’t look very excited. “I suppose it’s good neither of us got Great White. That would have been an easy win.”</p><p>He grabbed David’s hand. “Shall we?”</p><p>David nodded and let Patrick pull him from their room and toward the elevator.  </p><p>Once they were inside the elevator, Patrick turned to David. “Did you enjoy the gallery this afternoon?” He kissed David’s neck. </p><p>Patrick and Stevie may have teased the ever loving shit out of David in their relationship’s early days about David’s inability to compromise, but he’d venture to say things were a lot better in that department if their Toronto weekend itinerary was any indication.</p><p>“I loved it. Thanks for going with me, honey.” He gave Patrick a soft kiss on the lips.</p><p>Patrick beamed at him. David smiled back. Okay, maybe a Shark Week reunion party wouldn’t be too bad with Patrick by his side. Especially in those jeans.</p><p> </p><p>* * *</p><p> </p><p>It was bad. Really bad.</p><p>As they followed the signs to their private event, they walked behind two people in those stupid ass left shark costumes. Left Shark wasn’t even a thing when Patrick was in college! Seven women stood outside the party entrance and posed for photos in their grey T-shirts and (poorly) handmade shark fin hats. Each T-shirt named a different day of the week. Har har. A couple dozen people had shirts similar to Patrick’s. Obviously ones from their college parties. It was easy to spot the plus ones who wore newer shark-themed shirts. Though, he doubted any of them were Givenchy and cost as much as David’s. He felt embarrassed by Patrick’s splurge, but at least the brand name wasn’t obvious. </p><p>He shook his head. It wasn’t like frugal Patrick to drop that much money on a joke. Sure, things weren’t as tight as they once were with how successful Rose Apothecary had become, but David didn’t want anything to jeopardize their comfort. Not after last time.</p><p>Patrick rubbed his hand on the small of David’s back as they approached the platform over the shark lagoon where their private event was held. </p><p>“Welcome to Ripley’s Aquarium and to the Dangerous Lagoon overlook! Are you here for the party?” An aquarium employee with a neon orange polo and a lanyard smiled at them.</p><p>Patrick smiled. “Thank you. We’re Patrick and David Rose-Brewer.” He looked up at David and smiled. It still left David with butterflies every time he heard their married surname.</p><p>She scanned the stapled printout on her clipboard. “Got it. Feel free to help yourself to appetizers and drinks. There won’t be a formal sit-down dinner—”</p><p>David’s stomach growled and Patrick’s nailed scratched the small of David’s back.</p><p>“—but we’ll have a steady stream of heavy appetizers to make sure you get plenty to eat. Please head grab a name tag on your way in.”</p><p>David grimaced at the sticky labels on the table behind the employee. He may not like the expensive Givenchy shirt, but he certainly didn’t want to get adhesive on it. But if he didn’t do it, he’d stick out even more and look like a pompous ass. He didn’t want Patrick’s college buddies to think he’d married someone too good for them.</p><p>“Thanks.” David managed a fake half smile. </p><p>He walked over to the table and spotted their names. Organized alphabetically. Sensible. He grabbed his and Patrick’s, then turned to Patrick. He peeled the backing off the badge and placed it above the word “bigger” on his peck. He made sure to smooth it down. <i>Several</i> times. </p><p>Patrick cleared his throat. “I think you’ve got it.” His voice was husky. David slid his smile to one side of his mouth. Patrick snatched David’s name tag from his hand and did the same. His thumb grazed David’s nipple. </p><p>“You play dirty.”</p><p>Patrick’s pupils grew wide. “You started it.”</p><p>David wanted to finish it.</p><p>“Hey! Little Gulper! You made it!” </p><p>Patrick looked over David’s shoulder and his eyes widened as a slow smile took over his face. Okay, so David didn’t love seeing that reaction on Patrick’s face when it wasn’t aimed at him. </p><p>“<i>Little Gulper?</i>” David raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>Patrick shot David an “I’ll explain later” look. David couldn’t wait for that explanation.</p><p>He turned to see who had pulled that smile from Patrick and found a tall, muscular man with a black top knot—incorrect—striding toward them. His smile was wide and open, just like his arms when he pulled Patrick in for a hug. A long hug. </p><p>“Asher! Man, it’s good to see you!”</p><p>David’s shoulders tensed. <i>That’s</i> Asher? Shit. He’s hot. David used his retail-honed friendly smile. Like it mattered. Asher only had eyes for Patrick.</p><p>Asher had come up a couple of times over the years. Mostly in the context of “men Patrick Brewer realized he used to have crushes on once he knew he was gay.” Asher had been the main crush during Patrick’s undergrad years.</p><p>Patrick angled his body to include David in a newly formed small circle. “Asher, I’d like you to meet my husband, David.” </p><p>David held out his hand to shake Asher’s. He noticed the man wince when Patrick said “husband.” He expected all of Patrick’s old friends to be accepting of Patrick’s identity, given all the success Patrick had had so far in telling his friends. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>Asher gave David’s hand the briefest handshake possible to still be considered polite. “You as well.” Asher offered a closed-mouth smile, then redirected his attention to Patrick.</p><p>David smiled and laughed at the appropriate spots as Asher and Patrick swapped stories from their <i>good ol’ days</i>. David’s mood improved when Patrick gravitated closer to him, and wrapped his arm around David’s waist to hook his thumb in David’s front pocket. He liked when Patrick acted all possessive like that. David had no choice but to wrap his arm over Patrick’s shoulders so it didn’t get pinned between their bodies. Such a hardship.</p><p>David let his gaze wander over the event. They hadn’t really made it inside the event yet since Asher had pounced.</p><p>There were probably sixty or so people milling about the platform which overlooked a gorgeous body of water and the open Canadian sky. He hoped for a beautiful sunset. </p><p>“They’ve got a few TVs around showing Shark Week shows from our years. Pretty cool, huh? There’s a hammerhead one playing by the drink station.”</p><p>David tapped one finger against Patrick’s shoulder. David: one. Patrick: zero.</p><p>“Any other shark docs? What about that one? What is it? The lion shark?”</p><p>Asher laughed and hit Patrick’s shoulder. “Tiger shark, you dork.”</p><p>Patrick pressed one finger into David’s hip.</p><p>So that’s how it was going to be. </p><p>“Drink table? I’ll go scout that out. Want a beer, honey?” David winced internally. He should probably cool it on the pet names around people he didn’t know.</p><p>Patrick looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. Aww. Maybe he wouldn’t cool it. “I’m sure there’s some shark themed drinks. Pick something out for me?” He kissed David on the cheek. Double aww.</p><p>David walked into the party. He dodged people and managed polite smiles as he explored. Mostly he wanted to scout out the appetizer situation. </p><p>He passed by a table that had some shark fin cupcakes and several watermelons carved into sharks with fruit salad in the mouth. He scooped out a handful of the shark gummies to keep him occupied as he perused the rest of the tables. Next was a table with seafood appetizers. Sushi, fish tacos, shrimp cocktail, fried seafood somethings. It seemed weird to eat dead versions of what the aquarium was promoting.</p><p>He plopped a blue gummy in his mouth and chewed as he waited in line for drinks. A few minutes later, he was close enough to the bartender to see the menu. Beer, wine, and something called a shark bite. </p><p>“What can I get you?”</p><p>David smiled at the older man. “Can you tell me what’s in the shark bite?”</p><p>He’d normally go for wine, but when in Rome. Er, underwater Rome?</p><p>“Captain Morgan, light rum, blue curacao, sour mix, and a splash of grenadine. It’s meant to look like blood.” The man’s smile grew wide.</p><p>Grim, but okay. “Two of those, please.” He dug a couple of bills out of his pocket and dropped them in the tip jar, then shoved the last few gummies in his mouth to free his hand. The bartender thanked him for the tip and seemed to pour heavy on the rum in gratitude. </p><p>Soon the bartender sat the bright blue drinks in front of David. Huh. It did kind of look like blood. </p><p>“There’s also a drinking game, if you’d like to play.” He handed David two pieces of paper. Text appeared inside a clip art mouth of a Great White shark. Extremely aesthetically displeasing.</p><p>David thanked him then worked his way back to Patrick. Moving carefully to avoid spilling any of the booze. Thank God their ticket price included booze. They didn’t need to drive so both of them could get liquored up.</p><p>He smiled politely at people as he passed them and wondered who else in the room had featured prominently in Patrick’s college experience besides Asher.</p><p>By the time he’d made it back to Patrick, there was a small crowd surrounding his husband. He paused for a moment to watch. He looked happy, relieved. David smiled as he watched Patrick tell some story. The group laughed in response to something he said. </p><p>“David!” Patrick spotted him and waved him over. The group of people turned to look at him. </p><p>David hoped he wasn’t blushing under the scrutiny of so many people. He made his way to the group without spilling either drink. Patrick took a step back to make room for David in the circle. He handed Patrick’s drink and one of the drinking game papers to him, and Patrick immediately placed his hand on the small of David’s back, rubbing a circle. “Thanks, babe,” he said in a sweet voice.</p><p>He turned back to the group. About a half dozen new faces, plus Asher. “This is my better half. My husband, David Rose-Brewer.”</p><p>David told everyone it was nice to meet them, then took a sip of his drink so he could take a break from smiling. </p><p>“Wait, the David Rose?” A woman with long, auburn hair in frizzy spiral curls, stared at him with wide eyes.</p><p>Patrick’s hand stilled on David’s back. </p><p>Shit. He hadn’t thought about that. What people might know about his past life. It felt like an entire lifetime ago. There was his life before Patrick and after Patrick. Patrick had worked hard to make sure David thought less and less about life before him, but sometimes it cropped up when they ventured out of their safe bubble of Schitt’s Creek.</p><p>“That depends on what you’re thinking.” David had used that line a few times and it always got a chuckle. He could sense Patrick on guard and ready to extract David from the situation at any moment. Bless.</p><p>“Your gallery in New York was my favorite. I visited every time I went to the city, which was a few times a year.” She smiled widely. “You have great taste.”</p><p>Patrick’s thumb returned to its reassuring circular motion.</p><p>“Oh. Thank you. That’s kind of you to say.”</p><p>She turned to others in the group. “His gallery had the most amazing exhibits. Every time I went, I was tempted to max out my credit card with something. I could spend hours in there.” She told her college friends all about how much she loved his gallery. His gallery.</p><p>They all looked suitably impressed. Patrick’s thumb hooked back into his front pocket.</p><p>“If you ever make it to Schitt’s Creek, you should visit our store. It’s not an art gallery, but I like to think of it as a gallery to local artists and their handmade wares.” David’s shoulders relaxed. He could talk about their store. That was safe ground.</p><p>The woman smiled. “That sounds lovely. What’s it called?”</p><p>“Rose Apothecary. I love the name. Just pretentious enough, you know?” Patrick winked up at David.</p><p>“Some would say timeless.” He smirked back.</p><p>“Rose Apothecary? That’s you guys?! I’m obsessed with your Insta!” Another woman said.</p><p>David felt his smile grow as he answered an onslaught of questions about the store he and Patrick had built from scratch. Together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Kristie, help me out here. What’s the name of that shark with the really wide head that looks like a loaf of French bread?” David flipped his hand in the air and made a goofy face, like he’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached.</p><p>“Hammerhead?” She offered. </p><p>“Yes, hammerhead!” He looked at Patrick and smirked. David: nine. Patrick: six.</p><p>“What’s that other one? The lio—”</p><p>“Sorry, gotta run to the ladies’ room.” Kristie smiled and rushed toward the bathroom.</p><p>“Aww, sorry, honey. Almost got one there.”</p><p>Patrick grabbed David’s hips and turned him so they were facing each other. “You’re a menace.”</p><p>“I think you mean that I’m clever and winning at this game.”</p><p>Patrick took a drink of his third shark bite. “Nah, I meant you’re a menace.”</p><p>David leaned down. “If I win, you’re going to see exactly how much of a menace I can be.” He straightened up and turned away. He smiled at the hiss Patrick let out. Time for more food. He sensed Patrick behind him as David perused the seafood selection.</p><p>“Isn’t it kind of weird to serve dead fish at an aquarium? I feel like we’re sort of taunting them.”</p><p>David turned to Patrick. “Right?! I thought the same thing! If I didn’t need protein, I’d just eat the cupcakes.”</p><p>Patrick grinned. “Your mouth is already blue from the drinks so a couple more cupcakes wouldn’t hurt.”</p><p>“Okay, rude.” He smiled at his husband. It was fun getting a weekend away with him, even if it meant hanging out with a bunch of strangers.</p><p>They filled their plates, grabbed another round of drinks, then made their way to a high table at the edge of the overlook. </p><p>“It’s beautiful here.” David hadn’t expected a front row seat to a gorgeous sunset. He peeked over the overlook wall to watch sharks swimming in the water below. </p><p>“Drink. You mentioned the sunset.” Patrick pointed at the drinking game paper. </p><p>David rolled his eyes. Of course Patrick would have memorized all the items on that list. </p><p>“Babe, what kind of shark is that?” Patrick pointed to one not too far out.</p><p>David almost said it. <i>Almost</i>. “I think that one’s a lion shark, darling.” </p><p>Patrick grinned at him. He loved playing games with Patrick. </p><p>“Are you having a good time?”</p><p>David chewed his sushi. “Surprisingly, yeah. Your friends are nice. Of course, the flattery warmed me right up.”</p><p>Patrick chuckled. “I didn’t even pay them to say that. It was entirely spontaneous.”</p><p>David felt his cheeks warm more than the alcohol had caused. “I’m glad we came.”</p><p>Patrick reached out and grabbed David’s free hand for a quick squeeze. “Me too. Thank you.”</p><p>“I’ll admit, the dedication your college friends show to seeing a theme through is admirable. Is this anything like college?”</p><p>Patrick shook his head. “Oh, no. In college, we had kegs, posters on the walls with shark facts, dirty basements, make-out sessions in corners. This is a posh, adult version of what we used to do.”</p><p>David raised an eyebrow. “We could go for a makeout sesh in a dark corner if you’d like.”</p><p>Patrick grinned. “I’d like.”</p><p>“Let’s have a wander around.” David finished his food and drink. They stopped for another round before moving on to explore the aquarium. He might have to make some of those yummy shark bites at home. </p><p>“Want to see the tunnel with the sharks swimming around us?” Patrick held out his hand.</p><p>“Lead the way.” </p><p>They wandered through the facility and admired the various exhibits. They stopped for chaste kisses every so often. No dark corners to be had so far. The aquarium was annoying well lit.</p><p>They paused at something called the rainbow reef and watched the brightly colored tropical fish swim around. “Is it weird seeing your old friends again?” David asked. </p><p>Patrick was silent for a moment. “I expected it to be more weird, I think. Most of them heard that I’d come out once word got around that I married the sexiest man in Canada.” He winked at David.</p><p>“Only Canada? Surely North America, at least.”</p><p>“The Western Hemisphere.”</p><p>“Mm. Better.” David smiled into his drink.</p><p>“But it hasn’t felt weird at all. It’s like I can fully be myself with them, and it’s nice. I really like having you here. It feels like I’m bringing all parts of my life together, you know?”</p><p>David smiled. “I’m glad you’re happy. I’m happy for you.”</p><p>Patrick rested his head on David’s shoulder. “I’m happy for us.”</p><p>Us. Every time Patrick said it, David felt a spark in his stomach. Us. We. Together. All of those words still did funny things to David’s stomach.</p><p>“Continue to the tunnels?”</p><p>Patrick turned around. “Sounds good.”</p><p>They wandered into the tunnel’s entrance. Water and swimming wildlife surrounded them from the sides and above. For a moment, David felt claustrophobic. Logically he knew the glass would hold, but David wasn’t always a man of logic. As though sensing his hesitation, Patrick reached out and grabbed his hand. </p><p>They stopped and admired turtles, fish and sharks as they ventured further in the tunnel.</p><p>“Patrick! Could you take some boomerangs for us?”</p><p>David bit back a laugh. Patrick hated boomerangs. Alexis made them do it all the time. He especially hated ones involving cheers’ing glasses. He grabbed Patrick’s drink. “I’ll be here.” </p><p>David approached the glass and watched a turtle lazily swim around. </p><p>“Patrick seems happy.”</p><p>David jumped at the voice. He turned to find Asher standing next to him. “He is. Very happy.”</p><p>Asher bit his lower lip. He seemed like he wanted to say more, but he stayed silent, so David returned his attention to the water. And waited.</p><p>“I didn’t know he was gay.”</p><p>Ah. There it was. </p><p>It wasn’t David’s place to explain Patrick’s coming out process to Asher, but he knew what was safe to say. “Yeah. I know Patrick wasn’t out in college.”</p><p>Asher cleared his throat. “Neither was I. But… “</p><p>Oh. David’s head snapped to Asher. “You’re gay?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>The shark bites threatened to make an escape up his throat. </p><p>“I didn’t realize it until after college. And by then… “</p><p>Patrick had moved away and resumed things with Rachel.</p><p>There had been a million “what ifs” that he and Patrick had talked about. What if Patrick hadn’t left Rachel that last time? What if he hadn’t stopped in Schitt’s Creek? What if David’s hadn’t pursued his business idea? What if his family never lost their money? </p><p>What if. What if. What if.</p><p>There were endless alternate universes where they didn’t end up together, but in this one, they had. Thankfully.</p><p>But somehow, none of the what ifs scared David more than learning Asher was gay. The man Patrick had liked best of his not-crushes-that-turned-out-to-be-crushes. And he was very attractive. Tall, dark and handsome. Patrick certainly had a type with men.</p><p>“Does—” David cleared his throat. “Does Patrick know?”</p><p>He saw Asher shake his head from the corner of his eye. “No. He was back with Rachel when I realized it. By the time I heard he’d left her for good, he had moved away and wasn’t really active on social media any longer.” Asher sighed. “Then he found you.”</p><p>David turned to him at that. They stared at each other. It felt a little too much like an old timey duel. </p><p>“You asked if he’s happy. I work hard every day to make sure he is. He’s the most important person in my life and I make sure he feels loved and special.” David didn’t need to tell Asher that, but a part of him wanted Asher to know that Patrick wasn’t pining over some could-have-beens. Give Asher some closure.</p><p>Asher nodded at that, then looked back out at the water. “As long as he’s happy.”</p><p>The what if hung between them. Thick and suffocating.</p><p>“Hey! What are you guys talking about?” </p><p>David jumped and spilled a bit of his drink over his hand. He mopped it up with the cocktail napkin.</p><p>“Just life in Schitt’s Creek,” Asher said, looking over the top of his drink at David.</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>Patrick’s hand found its way to the small of David’s back again, like a gravitational pull. “I’m very happy there. You should come visit us sometime.”</p><p>Very happy indeed. David bit back a smirk.</p><p>Asher offered a small smile, but said nothing. “Well, I’m going to find the bathroom. Good talking to you guys.” He stared at David for a moment. David couldn’t tell if it was in gratitude for making Patrick happy or a threat that he’d be there to pick up the pieces if David ever fucked up. Probably both.</p><p>Patrick moved to stand in front of David. “Everything okay? That energy was really fucking weird.”</p><p>David watched the turtles and debated how much to share. </p><p>His instinct was to tell Patrick about the entire conversation. They were always honest with each other. But David couldn’t ignore the voice telling him to lie. To hide their conversation. That if Patrick knew he could have Asher, he’d drop David like a hot potato. </p><p>Another voice argued. A newer voice. A voice that sounded a lot like Patrick. It said that Patrick loved him unconditionally and no matter who showed up as a blast from the past. They were solid. </p><p>The ghosts of David’s self-doubt still haunted him, but, thanks to Patrick’s love, they were quieter.</p><p>“Asher just told me he’s gay.” He didn’t look at Patrick. He couldn’t risk seeing joy or indecision on his face. “And I’m pretty sure he felt the same about you in college as you did about him. So.”</p><p>The silence stretched between him. David couldn’t take it any longer, so he turned to Patrick. “I understand if you want to—” Patrick’s expression stopped him cold.</p><p>No doubt.</p><p>No indecision.</p><p>No longing.</p><p>No regret.</p><p>All David saw was… empathy? </p><p>“I had no idea.” Patrick looked up at David. His half smile was soft. “I can imagine how hard that had to be for him.”</p><p>David reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “I know.”</p><p>Patrick looked down for a moment, and David braced himself for what was next. He reached deep within himself. In a moment, he had already told himself in a thousand different ways that if Patrick walked away, he’d be okay. He’d be okay because he’d at least had Patrick for a while and had felt his love. And that would have to be enough.</p><p>“I hope he finds his own David Rose someday.”</p><p>The breath left David’s body. He felt swept up in it, as though the tunnel glass had broken and washed him away with the turtles. “Yeah?”</p><p>Patrick pulled David against him. “Yeah. I love you so much, David. I’m glad I found you when I did. Every decision I made, or avoided, led me to you, and I regret nothing.”</p><p>“Jesus, Patrick.”</p><p>Patrick kissed him. David felt the certainty of Patrick’s words through the gentle press of his lips. Patrick pulled back too soon.</p><p>“If you wanted me to forfeit our competition, you should have just said so. You didn’t have to use these sneaky, underhanded, emotional tactics to get me wrapped around your finger.”</p><p>Patrick’s soft smile turned predatory. “Is that what I’m doing? Wrapping you around my finger?” He traced the ridiculous shark on his overpriced T-shirt. </p><p>“You know exactly what you’re doing.” David ran the fingertips of his free hand across the top of Patrick’s shoulder. </p><p>“You know, you’re the best-dressed person here. Like always.” Patrick dropped a quick kiss on David’s neck.</p><p>In a moment, it all clicked. Patrick hadn’t spent all that money to troll him. He’d spent it to make sure David was as comfortable as possible at an event he normally wouldn’t be comfortable at. Oh. David bit his lips. Patrick never ceased to amaze him.</p><p>He leaned down and whispered into Patrick’s ear. “Thank you for making sure I felt comfortable. I love you, Patrick. I love how considerate you are.”</p><p>Patrick looked up at him. Eyes wide and smile bashful. “I love you too, David. So much.”</p><p>He rubbed his thumb across Patrick’s cheek as they held each other’s gaze for a few more moments.</p><p>David wrapped Patrick in a hug and smiled, closing his eyes to enjoy the moment. When he opened them, he spotted Asher staring at them. Asher raised his glass. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>“Drink! Drink! Someone got submerged in a cage.” Kristie held up the drinking game cheat sheet. </p><p>David was glad they’d switched to wine once they got back to the party. Heavily hitting a drinking game, several shark bites in, wouldn’t have been a good idea.</p><p>Patrick was also drinking wine. He only chose red wine over beer if he was at a winery or hoping to get lucky later and wanting to skip feeling bloated. As if he read David’s mind, Patrick looked over at him and winked. </p><p>The party was shrinking. Usually David would have wanted to be among the first to go, but he was having a surprising amount of fun with Patrick’s friends. </p><p>“Aussie accent! Drink!” Another woman held up a shaky arm and “woo’d” at them before drinking.</p><p>The “drink to an Aussie accent” one alone would get even the heavyweight drinkers trashed.</p><p>“Patrick, you gotta do the song,” Kristie said.</p><p>“Excuse me. Patrick, you have a Shark Week song?” David turned toward his husband and let all the glee he felt show on his face.</p><p>“Oh, yes. Patrick often sang at our Shark Week parties. Well, all our parties, really. He’s so good.”</p><p>“Isn’t he? You know that song <i>Simply the Best</i> by Tina Turner? He sang that for me at an open mic night at our store shortly after we started dating.” David scrunched his face up like Alexis did when she was happy about something.</p><p>“Aww! That’s so fucking sweet! Ugh. I need to find someone who’ll sing to me at an open mic night.”</p><p>David wrapped an arm around Kristie’s shoulders. He liked her. “You will, babe. You’re great.”</p><p>She wrapped her arm around his waist. “Patrick, your husband is so much cooler than you.”</p><p>He grinned at David. It took his breath away. He looked so fucking happy in that moment. “I know. Trust me.”</p><p>“But, seriously, honey, I think you owe us a song?”</p><p>Kristie cackled.</p><p>“Patrick, sing it!”</p><p>“Yeah, Patrick, you gotta!”</p><p>David loved seeing these people cheering his husband on.</p><p>With an exasperated sigh, Patrick shot David an apologetic look before he broke into the most ridiculous song David had ever heard. Others quickly joined in the song. It sounded like a college fight song, but with ridiculous lyrics about large teeth, and was that a sexual innuendo about fin size? He could almost picture a drunken, red-faced college-aged Patrick singing that song back when his T-shirt was new.</p><p>“Well, that sure was something,” he said to Patrick after the song ended.</p><p>“You’re never going to let me live that down, will you?”</p><p>“Sassing you was basically in our vows, Patrick. Of course I’m not.”</p><p>Patrick kissed him. “Good.”</p><p>A short while later, the aquarium employees informed them it was closing time. David grabbed another handful of the gummies before following the crowd out of the event space. </p><p>“So, David.” Kristie hooked her arm through his as they migrated to the aquarium entrance.</p><p>“So.” David waited for her to ask about his gallery and the celebrities he knew and his wild New York experiences. He wouldn’t mind sharing some stories with her. Kristie was cool. He hoped she took them up on their invitation to visit Schitt’s Creek.</p><p>“How come Patrick asked us to find a way to mention hammerhead sharks in front of you?”</p><p>That scheming little fucker!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tomorrow is the final chapter and is basically pure smut. So if you're not interested in that, congratulations, you've reached the end of the main story! Thanks for reading this silly little thing :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The smutty finale to this fun wee Shark Week fic :) Ahead there be toys and dominant Patrick and teasing and lots of love.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>David methodically unpacked his pajamas. He drifted to his bag on the luggage rack, then to the bathroom to unpack the rest of his nighttime skincare.</p><p>“How’s it going in there, David?”</p><p>He risked a peek out of the bathroom and found Patrick sitting on the end of the bed with his arms across his chest. Damn near pouting.</p><p>David grinned as he aligned his products along the counter like he would at the store. “It’s going well. You know, just doing my nighttime routine.”</p><p>Patrick groaned. Groaned! </p><p>David chuckled silently. He swished mouthwash and brushed his teeth for the full two dentist-recommended minutes.</p><p>He glanced back out at Patrick and found his husband laying back on the bed. Tossing a pen in the air and catching it. “Don’t poke your eye out.”</p><p>“Give me something better to do then, <i>David</i>.” Patrick only used that tone when his frustration, sexual or otherwise, had reached its peak.</p><p>Patrick deserved a bit of torture after the dirty trick he’d pulled. </p><p>David knew he could push a bit further before Patrick cracked. He wandered out of the bathroom and over to the entertainment center. He picked up the guest booklet. “What do you think about ordering room service? And maybe watch a movie? There’s a new— Mmph.” </p><p>Patrick had slammed into David’s waist. He grabbed the binder out of David’s hands and slammed it back on the table. A fraction of a second later, his mouth was hot on David’s, pressing his tongue into David’s mouth. Okay. Maybe he didn’t need to tease Patrick any longer. Well, just one more.</p><p>“So, no room service then?”</p><p>Patrick growled as he pulled David back to the bed. Patrick sat on the end of it and David stood between his knees. Patrick pressed his hands into David’s hips as he looked up at him with faux innocence in his enormous eyes. “What was the final tally of our wager?”</p><p>David raised an eyebrow. “Thirteen to seven, I think.”</p><p>Patrick frowned and nodded. His best attempt at looking defeated, but David could see the smile lurking. “That’s too bad. Congratulations. You won fair and square. I guess that means you’re in control tonight.” He looked up, and his pupils widened.</p><p>David briefly thought back through the evening and the couple of times he saw Patrick whisper something to his friends. Each of them giving confused looks, but then a shrug. Shortly after, each time, they mentioned hammerhead sharks. Patrick was devious.</p><p>“Did I win fair and square? Or did you play dirty and get your friends to say ‘hammerhead’ so I’d win?” David pushed back on Patrick’s shoulders so Patrick would lie back on the bed. David crawled on his lap and straddled him. </p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Patrick licked a line down David’s neck.</p><p>“Oh? You’re calling Kristie a liar?”</p><p>“Shit.” Patrick chuckled. “She never could keep a secret.”</p><p>David ground himself against Patrick. “Since I’m calling the shots.”</p><p>Patrick’s hands wandered under the Givenchy shark shirt and traced a hot path along David’s spine. “Yeah?”</p><p>David ground himself down again, soliciting a moan from Patrick. “And you have to do what I say.”</p><p>Patrick licked David’s Adam’s apple. “Oh, yeah. Tell me what you want, David. I’ll do anything.”</p><p>David had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment to stay focused while Patrick’s tongue seared his skin. Patrick wasn’t the only troll in the relationship. He loved it when David bossed him around. Cool, calm, collected, controlled Patrick Brewer loved to lose himself in sex. He adored being bossed around.</p><p>Unlucky for Patrick, David loved it when his husband was bossy.</p><p>He hooked his hands under Patrick’s shoulders and tugged as he dropped onto his back, pulling Patrick on top of him. “I want you in charge.”</p><p>Patrick’s mouth fell open. “That’s a dirty trick, David Rose-Brewer.”</p><p>David took his turn to lick Patrick’s neck. “I learned my dirty tricks from you, Patrick Rose-Brewer.”</p><p>Patrick didn’t waste any time. He sat back on his heels and unbuttoned David’s jeans. “I’m going to make you pay for that.”</p><p>David grinned. “Good.”</p><p>Patrick stood up and tugged David’s pants down. He pulled his own pants and shirt off, leaving just his boxer-briefs. David sat up and grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt, starting to pull it off.</p><p>Patrick stopped his hands. “Nope. The shirt stays on.”</p><p>David gaped at him. “Are you serious?”</p><p>“Do I look like I’m joking?”</p><p>No. He really didn’t. Pupils wide and cheeks red, he looked ready to fuck. “But it’s going to get ruined.”</p><p>Patrick shrugged. “Do you plan to wear it again?”</p><p>David couldn’t help the laugh. “Nope, unless you’re going to bring me to another one of these parties in ten years.”</p><p>Patrick’s smile grew wide and sincere for a moment. “We’ll buy you another one then. In ten years. When we’re still together and going to reunions.”</p><p>Aww. </p><p>“Before you have your way with me, I think we need to talk about something.” David made his tone serious.</p><p>Patrick sat down next to David. “Okay, yeah. We probably should talk more about that. I promise. I’m not interest—”</p><p>“Little Gulper?”</p><p>Patrick stared at David and blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Then he let out a loud belly laugh. He adored Patrick’s belly laughs.</p><p>“Jesus, David. We each got assigned a species as our nickname. I got called Little Gulper.”</p><p>“Why? Because I’ve seen you and you can take pretty big gulps.” He bit the inside of his cheek.</p><p>Patrick pushed him back and climbed on top of him. He didn’t like having the T-shirt separate his skin from Patrick’s, but he’d made the rules when he told Patrick to be in charge. Dammit.</p><p>“You sure you’re going to use your win to put me in charge?”</p><p>David nodded. “But since I won, I can revoke it at any time. Use your power wisely.”</p><p>“Challenge accepted.” He crawled off the bed. “Stay.”</p><p>“Woof.”</p><p>“Good boy.” Patrick smirked, then walked over to their suitcases. “Let’s see what toys you packed.”</p><p>Patrick knew him so damn well. Knew that David always brought toys on their rare weekends away from the store and Schitt’s Creek. “What makes you think I packed toys?”</p><p>Patrick looked over his shoulder and leveled a <i>duh</i> stare at him. </p><p>David grinned. “There’s a bag in the front half of my smaller suitcase.” He arranged the pillows so he could lay back comfortably.</p><p>Patrick rifled around a bit before finding the bag, so he took the opportunity to admire his husband’s broad back as he bent over and looked through the bag. He couldn’t wait to see what Patrick picked. They loved using toys on their weekends away when they had more time and energy for fancy sex. They still had sex regularly, but with the store and everything else going on, they didn’t often bust out handcuffs, cock rings, dildos or plugs when at home. That’s what made their weekends away even more special.</p><p>“Alright David. Are you ready for me?”</p><p>David nodded. “Very.” He had his hands under his head and elbows out, with one leg bent at the knee and the other extended in front of him. Whether Patrick wanted to make him wild, or Patrick wanted David to make him wild, he would be happy.</p><p>“I’m going to drive you to the absolute edge and you won’t come. And then I’m going to push you further, and you’re still not going to come. You’re going to scream my name, and when I’m feeling generous, you can come. Understand?”</p><p>David’s entire body shivered. “I understand.”</p><p>“Good. Now remove your underwear and spread your legs.”</p><p>Let’s. Fucking. Go. He didn’t break eye contact with Patrick as he slid his boxer-briefs off. Patrick stalked toward him with the bag of toys. First, he pulled out the leather handcuffs David had custom ordered from their leather vendor last year. </p><p>“Since we don’t have our usual headboard, you’re going to have to promise me you’ll keep your hands above your head. Do you promise?”</p><p>David let out a happy sigh. Patrick still found ways to work in consent, even in their light dominance role playing. “I promise.” But he was a bratty bottom, and Patrick’s smirk told David he knew it wouldn’t be that easy.</p><p>Patrick placed the bag on the corner of their kind sized bed. He lifted the handcuffs and walked over to David. “Hands.”</p><p>David kept his hands under his head and smirked up at Patrick.</p><p>“David, hands.”</p><p>“Make me.”</p><p>“Already with the attitude?” Patrick’s tone was harsh, but he couldn’t hide his smirk. He tugged David’s hands out from behind his head. David loved how strong his husband was. He snapped one cuff over David’s left wrist then the other over his right. “Now get on your hands and knees.”</p><p>David held Patrick’s eye contact as he used his core to lift into a seated position. He dropped his cuffed hands to his left side, then steadied himself as he slowly shifted onto his knees to give his husband a show.</p><p>Patrick tugged David’s boxers down. “Left knee.” David lifted it. “Right knee.” He lifted the other, and Patrick pulled them the rest of the way off. “I’m going to open you up with my fingers, and then I’m going to put the plug in. Okay?”</p><p>“Okay.” David bit his lower lip as he dropped his upper body onto the stack of pillows and putting his ass on display for Patrick. He loved how easily they switched top and bottom. </p><p>He heard the lube cap and waited for Patrick’s fingers. He loved Patrick’s fingers. His hands were one of his best features. He waited and waited. Shit. Patrick was really into it. Yes, please. The wait made him hard. Thinking about what was to come, what Patrick would do to him. He felt his cock growing stiff just from anticipation.</p><p>After what felt like hours, David felt the press of a small dildo against his hole. David smiled to himself. No fingers? Patrick was definitely punishing bratty David. Patrick tickled the end of the dildo around his hole and against the sensitive skin of his perineum. David pushed his hips back, wanting the dildo to breach him, but knowing Patrick wouldn’t intentionally hurt him. “I’m ready.”</p><p>Patrick pushed the dildo in a few centimeters.</p><p>“More.”</p><p>“More, what?”</p><p>“More, <i>please</i>.” </p><p>Patrick pushed in a little further, and David pushed his hips back to seek that feeling he craved.</p><p>“Stop. Hold still.”</p><p>Fuck. David held still as Patrick pulled the dildo out a bit to where he had it before David moved. </p><p>“I’ll push it in further with each shark fact you tell me.”</p><p>“WHAT?” David turned to glare at Patrick. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”</p><p>“Shark facts for fucking, David.” Patrick’s eyes danced with dirty mischief.</p><p>David knew he could pull the plug and take over, but he didn’t want to let Patrick win.</p><p>“Fine. Great White sharks can kill people.” He moaned at Patrick pushing it further in him. </p><p>“Good.”</p><p>David wracked his brain to try to remember random shit he’d read and heard at the party. “Hammerhead sharks have a head that sort of looks like a loaf of French bread. They look different from Great Whites.” Not a great fact, but it fucking counted. Patrick pushed it in further.</p><p>“Tiger sharks are real. Lion sharks are not.” He swore he could hear Patrick chuckle. The dildo went in further. He clamped around it. </p><p>“Two more, David. You can do it.”</p><p>“Whale sharks are in danger of extinction.” Thank god for Kristie going on a ramble about that when there had been a whale shark on TV.</p><p>“Good, David. Very good. One more.”</p><p>He tried to come up with a good one to impress Patrick, even during this silly game. “Sharks don’t have bones.”</p><p>Patrick shoved the dildo the rest of the way in, then immediately pulled it out and slammed it in again. A delicious reward for his good fact. Patrick’s free hand rubbed over David’s ass, but never touching his cock or hole. He teased and tantalized David until he begged for Patrick to really touch him.</p><p>Patrick pulled the dildo all the way out. </p><p>“No. Patrick more. Please.”</p><p>“Patience, David.” He could hear a smile in Patrick’s voice. Within a few moments, Patrick was pressing a larger toy at his hole. He was working David up to one of the plugs. </p><p>David’s legs shook with the strain of not pushing back onto the toy. Patrick didn’t force shark trivia this time. He pushed in with an aching slowness. </p><p>“You’re so good for me. So good, honey.” Patrick’s voice was sweet.</p><p>Patrick picked up the pace with this toy. He fucked David until he was begging for more. “Patrick, please, fuck me. I want you in me.”</p><p>Patrick pulled the toy all the way out. </p><p>“Patrick, please.” He turned to look at his husband and found him applying lube to David’s favorite plug. He wiggled his ass. “Oh, yes, please.”</p><p>Patrick leaned down and licked a path on David’s left cheek. “You’re being so good. You want this in you?”</p><p>“Yes, please.” David angled his hips even higher in the air. </p><p>Patrick pressed the plug into him as he kissed all around his ass cheeks. David wanted Patrick to grab his cock and tug, but he knew he wouldn’t. Not yet. And he loved it.</p><p>Once the toy was seated, David felt Patrick pull back. He turned his head and found Patrick admiring David’s ass. “Enjoying the view?” He wiggled his hips and moaned at the sensation of the plug moving in him.</p><p>“Very much. Can you shift onto your back or do you need my help?”</p><p>“Help, please.” He didn’t need it, but he wanted Patrick’s hands on him.</p><p>Patrick climbed further on the bed and kneeled behind David. He felt Patrick’s body behind him. Strong arms wrapped around his chest and tugged until David was upright and resting on his knees, his back aligned against Patrick’s front. </p><p>David turned his head to try and see Patrick. “Hi.”</p><p>“Hi,” Patrick said with a smile, then he bear-hugged David from behind and pulled him on top of Patrick, as his husband shifted them so Patrick was on his back on the bed and David sprawled on top of him.</p><p>“Holy. Fuck. What was that?” He clenched around the plug as his cuffed hands dropped on his stomach.</p><p>“You okay?” Patrick kissed David’s neck. </p><p>He leaned into the touch. “Yeah. I gotta be honest, that was fucking hot and I’ll be expecting that to be added to your repertoire. I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me.”</p><p>“I gotta keep some tricks up my sleeve, honey,” Patrick said on a laugh. “Now scoot over.” </p><p>Somehow his magically wonderful husband, who had only been with one man, still had tricks after several years of marriage. He could picture Patrick getting up in the middle of the night to do a Google deep dive and keeping a spreadsheet of things he could surprise David with. So fucking hot. </p><p>David tried to slide off Patrick toward the middle of the bed.</p><p>“Good. Now you’re going to sit there and watch.”</p><p>His eyes went wide as he licked his lips. What the hell did Patrick have in mind? </p><p>Patrick moved off the bed and took off his underwear, then climbed up David’s legs. With a grin, he spun around with his naked backside facing David. He loved that view. Patrick picked up the bottle of lube, and David heard the cap. Moments later, Patrick was reaching behind and inserting a finger in himself.</p><p>“Oh, <i>fuck</i>. Patrick.”</p><p>“Watch. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch yourself.”</p><p>David’s cuffed hands had already migrated down to his cock, but he stopped them. Patrick knew him too well. </p><p>Soon Patrick had two fingers in, then a third. David barely blinked. He was mesmerized. Patrick rarely fingered himself, and even less often when David wasn’t touching him elsewhere. David loved the show, and his confident husband who gave it to him.</p><p>Patrick’s breath grew ragged as his fingers moved faster and faster. David didn’t want him to finish on his own. He wanted inside of Patrick more than anything. He thought he was going to bottom tonight, but Patrick had somehow turned things around on him again. David was here for it.</p><p>Pulling out his fingers, Patrick turned to face David. “I’m going to ride you until you scream my name. The only thing you can touch is my cock. Got it?”</p><p>“Yes,” David said on a whisper. He clenched around the plug and watched Patrick position himself over David’s rock-hard dick. </p><p>Eons later, Patrick finally begin to lower himself onto David. “Don’t move. I’m going to fuck myself.”</p><p>David nodded as he forced himself to stay still. He could be good. So good. His skin felt scalding hot under the cotton shirt.</p><p>Patrick found a slow rhythm, and David found a way to angle the handcuffs so one hand stroked Patrick while the other rubbed his balls.</p><p>“Yeah, David. Perfect. You’re so good. You feel so good.”</p><p>David clenched around his plug as he fought the urge to thrust up into his husband. “Patrick, please. Let me. Let me fuck you. It’ll be so good for you.” He felt sweat trickle down his temples.</p><p>“No. I’m in charge and I’m fucking myself.” Patrick planted a hand behind him on David’s thigh as he rode David into the mattress.</p><p>David moaned as his sweet release was within reach.</p><p>“David, you’re not going to come yet. Right?”</p><p>He growled.</p><p>“David.”</p><p>He clenched his jaw. “Right.” David took deep breaths to slow his roll. </p><p>“Good boy. You’re so good for me, honey. So good.” Patrick’s body moved faster and faster. His chest glistened with sweat and David wanted to sit up and lick it off. </p><p>More deep breathing. He could hold out for Patrick. </p><p>“So close. That’s it. Fuck, David. Your cock feels so good,” Patrick said through ragged breaths.</p><p>“Come on, Patrick. Come for me, baby. Come all over this shirt.” David’s stroking intensified.</p><p>Patrick’s eyes focused and he looked down at David’s chest. Half his mouth quirked up into a dirty grin. He felt Patrick clench around his cock, and a moment later, he came on the shirt and David’s hands. </p><p>“That’s it, baby. That’s it.” He willed his body to ease back from its release.</p><p>Patrick’s pace slowed down. “Okay, you can come. Fuck me, David.” He bent down and braced himself on the bed, on either side of David’s shoulders.</p><p>David didn’t need to be told twice. He thrusted wildly into Patrick. “Yes. God yes. Patrick, you feel so fucking good. Yes.” He clenched around the plug while chasing his own orgasm. It didn’t take long. He yelled Patrick’s name as he came. Patrick kissed David’s breath away as the orgasm consumed him.</p><p>Minutes or years later, Patrick slid off of David, and gently pulled the plug out. “You okay?”</p><p>“I don’t think I could be more okay, honey.” He offered a sleepy smile.</p><p>Patrick kissed him on the forehead and undid the handcuffs. Within minutes, he’d cleaned them both up and helped David out of the come-stained shirt. “C’mere, sweetheart.” He laid back on the bed and pulled David against him.</p><p>“I love you so much, Patrick.” He relaxed into his husband and allowed the gratitude to fill him. Gratitude over how tender Patrick could be even during their role-play, and his husband’s interest in keeping things interesting. They were the perfect match.</p><p>“I love you too, David.” He hummed a sigh. “I think Tiger needs a nap. How’s Hammerhead doing?” Patrick looked down at David’s softening dick.</p><p>“Excuse you. Did you just name your dick ‘Tiger’ and mine ‘Hammerhead’?” David blinked at Patrick incredulously. </p><p>“Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that?” Patrick trailed his fingertips up David’s arms. “Hammerheads are my favorite shark.”</p><p>He swallowed. “I do not, but I reserve the right to object at a future date.”</p><p>“Reservation for possible future objection, accepted.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had so much fun writing this! Thank you all for the lovely comments and kudos along the way!!</p><p>I'm over on Tumblr at <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lisamc-21">lisamc-21</a>.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://www.givenchy.com/us/en-US/shark-printed-t-shirt/BM70483Y0H-001.html">The shirt exists.</a> I got this short fic idea by Googling "Givenchy sharks" to see what was out there. I'm so glad I wasn't disappointed.</p><p>And, sorry about the title, I tried for a great white shark pun. I was channeling Ted.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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